You don't always get what you want...

...and that's a good thing.
I have spent the better part of the summer trying to pare down on outside activities and evening commitments, in order to be more present to my family in the evening hours and to lower my own stress level, so that I can be more attentive.
I had such a busy school year last year, and I know that most of my stress was caused by feeling torn between my family and the rest of the world.
These feelings came from inside me. Tim has never said a word about where I am, what I am doing and how stretched I am becoming, even when the fallout lands mostly on his shoulders. He is home at night with the boys, he and I don't get to spend any time together, and I feel like I am always running out on my best friend. Like I am always saying "Sorry".
There is a difference between spending the evenings running to rehearsals for Paul, or taking the boys to activities. These are things we share and enjoy as parents.
I just get too much on my plate, from the outside, and then the things that the boys need start to feel like they are secondary to the "important" meetings, details, etc.

What I wanted was to be able to serve outside of my own four walls. What I have gotten is a lesson in where the service needs to lie first, within them.

I know some women carry it off just fine. They just get all the jobs done and they can still be moms and wives, and everyone is happy.

I am a person that needs to develop a system. I need to have a place and time for the things that I put on the top of the list.
God comes first, of course, but He has also put my life into this order, and has asked me to Love, honor and serve Him within this context. I actually feel closer to Him when I am praying with my family, or I am having a special moment with my husband, or just praying at Mass, than when I am sitting alone trying to force myself to hear Him. I just don't meditate that well, but I do experience God and find Him deep within others.
This is my time and place.
So when I take myself out of this time and place too often, I lose touch with the line of communication that God has set up between us.

All of the things that take me away from home are worthy pursuits. It's just that they are worthy for different reasons, and most of them don't contribute to the well being of my family in a meaningful way.
They are all good things, they just aren't good for us.

I probably sound like a nut to a society where women are so blest to have all the freedoms that we have. I am grateful for the the freedom and opportunity that women in our country enjoy. I have tasted all of it and I am so glad that it is there. I can't imagine having to worry about being beaten for wearing the wrong clothing. It would be so awful to have a hunger for information and to be kept in ignorance because I am female. It would be so terrible to have to be afraid to speak my mind for fear of shaming the men in my family.

I love the world that God has given me, but there is only so much of me and the focus of my heart is my home. It is a joy to experience that world with my children and Tim. Teaching them has been the greatest blessing of my life. Learning with them and learning from them, the girls andnow the boys.

When I am old, I want to look at my kids and really know who they are. I want to be able to look at my husband and know that he is still my best friend.

This is the goal.
The compass is set and God is in the driver's seat.
It's always a heck of a ride, but He never, ever makes a wrong turn.

Putting Me in My Place...

This summer, I am taking a little bit of a vacation from the daily race and doing a lot of soul searching.

Nettie and I are still working with a couple of clients, but she is going to have a baby in a month, and I have been feeling that over-committed feeling. It was a rough Spring.

I have been taking stock of all that I was doing, and I am trying to find places that I can pare down. I have been sifting through my motivations, aspirations and obligations.
When I am out four nights a week and we are running all over to the kid's activities the rest of the time, where is the "stay-at-home" in SAHM?
How can I make a joyful and peaceful place for my family if I am never here?

There is a lot to be said for order in the home. A place for everything and everything in it's place.
I am finding that there can be visible order, however, with invisible chaos. I become scattered and distracted in my thoughts, and I become a less attentive and loving wife and mom, when I am trying to get from point A to point B and give all my other commitments the attention they need.
It's not just meetings. It's preparation, it's phone calls, it's a lot of thought. If I want to do a good job at my primary vocation, wife and mom, I need to focus on the people that I am serving.

My Mom has been doing a lot of thinking and praying and she has been sharing with me as she walks the journey of cancer and chemo. One thing that she said a couple of weeks ago, that really stuck with me, is how glad she is that she never went to work. Her life during our years together at home, and then after we left, has been so full and so fruitful. There is no measure of the richness and beauty of life. There are memories and the marks that experiences make on our souls. Mom has been able to live a rich and beautiful life because she ordered it after the people she loved. She didn't order the people after the obligations.

My kids are only going to be at home for another 15 years or so. My husband is working so hard so that we can have a rich and beautiful family life. If I fritter away the days and evenings on outside commitments, who will make the memories that will be there for them as they get older? What about doing fun things with Lucy, Lilly and Molly on the spur of the moment? It seems like there is always something on the calendar.

I want to have a different kind of year this school year. I want to have evenings at home reading aloud, baking, making holiday projects. I want to be more accessible to my family and less visible in the world.

I have learned a lot about authenticity and my desire for recognition. I have learned that I am a lot less authentic when I am trying do too much for too many. I have probably been trying to prove to myself that I can have a happy family, a great homeschool, a fulfilling job, and serve on lots of boards and committees and still have my sanity left. I can't.

Order isn't easy. I can keep everything in it's place, but I have a hard time keeping me in mine.

Pantry Principles and Practicalities — part 4 of 4

April 14th, 2009 by Mary Kochan

This is the last in my series about having and maintaining a pantry as a cost-saving strategy. If you need to catch up, here is part one, part two, and part three. Now, I want to focus here on some of the mental and emotional changes I think you will see in yourself as you pursue this goal, as well as some of the rewards you can enjoy. If you have never had one, starting and maintaining a pantry will change your relationship with food and homemaking. Here are some of the changes I have observed.

Deconstructing Packaged Food

I used to buy a boxed pasta salad that I really liked. One day I took a look at it and realized that I was really paying a pretty exorbitant price for what amounted to about a third of a pound of pasta, a minimal number of dried chopped vegetables and a tablespoon of ranch salad dressing. I have recreated this much more cheaply - not to mention more healthily — and with no more than 5 minutes more work many times. One day I bought a very delicious frozen jambalaya in a plastic bag. Inside was a package of frozen cooked rice, some chopped vegetables, shrimp and sausage, and a package of sauce. With my own rice, chopped vegetables (many from my own garden), frozen shrimp and Kielbasa from my freezer, and a jar of Cajun seasoning, I have recreated this meal many times for my family — it has become one of our summer favorites. One day at a friend’s house, I saw her breaking up spaghetti and adding it to a pan of melted butter. “What are you doing?” I asked, and got the answer, “Making Rice-a-Roni.” Sure enough, a moment later she was adding rice to the browning bits of noodles.

You don’t always have to bring something home to deconstruct it. You can often do it by simply looking at the label. Have a favorite packaged food or restaurant food you want to copy? Look up the recipe for it online.

Read the rest HERE

Pantry Principles and Practicalities — part 3 of 4

April 7th, 2009 by Mary Kochan Print This Post ·ShareThis

In my last article I mentioned that having a well-organized pantry was greatly reducing the frequency of shopping trips for the three adult shoppers in my family. I’d like to talk more about the strategy for accomplishing that because it involves a part of the pantry I did not mention before and that is our freezer.

In the basement we have an upright freezer and it is incorporated into our pantry system. For one thing, that freezer is the pantry for the freezer over my kitchen fridge and for certain items it is a pantry for the fridge itself. This means that it is inventoried and stocked to certain minimum/maximum levels just like the rest of the pantry. The inventory is listed on a white board next to the freezer.

Because of the ease of organization in the one versus the other, I highly recommend an upright freezer over a chest freezer. I have many years of experience with both and the slightly higher operating cost of an upright is more than compensated for by its ease of use and less likelihood of things getting “lost” and thereby wasted.

Read the rest HERE

The Quest for Personal Order...

I have a problem.
I have always been really nuts about purses, bags and all sorts of personal organization methods.
I don't see these things as accessories. I am really not concerned about how they look or whether they go with my shoes. No, they are the tools I use to keep it together.
I am ever in search of the perfect system of personal organization.

I have a certain number of things that I have to have with me whenever I go out.
My wallet of course. And a small bag with toiletry items and things like motrin and Dramamine.
I used to have to take my planner with me everywhere, but with my Blackberry, I have access to my calendar and all the documents that I have in Google, in addition to my phone book and gmail account. The Blackberry is considerably smaller than the planner.
I have rosaries, and prayer books for Mass. I have my little camera and my glasses.
Oh, and the keys.
All of this stuff gets kind of heavy after awhile.
I bought a wallet that has a little strap that I can put on, it holds the blackberry and I can just clip the keys to it when I go in to a store.
I am thinking that maybe I will just go to a big tote, a pretty one, with some little bags inside that can hold all the flotsam and jetsam so that I can find the right one when I need it. Bright colors for identification.
It would be so much easier to just look down into the bag and pull out the correct color.
Then I can just leave the bag in the car most of the time and bring my wallet in the house with my BB.
I don't know. I am sure there is a flaw in this plan, because if it were the answer, someone would be selling it.

A Truly Graceful Home...

Pantry Principles and Practicalities — part 2 of 4

Pantry Principles and Practicalities — part 2 of 4

Posted using ShareThis

An Excellent Article!

Details of Life, In the Kitchen, Mary Kochan

Pantry Principles and Practicalities — part 1 of 4

March 24th, 2009 by Mary Kochan Print This Post ·ShareThis

Do you have a pantry? A pantry might sound like an old-fashioned concept — something that was in your grandmother’s house where she kept jars of tomatoes and green beans that she had “put up” or “put by.” Why would a 21st century woman need a pantry with grocery store only minutes away and a McDonald’s right next to it?

I notice that some modern kitchens contain a kind of closet with shelves and this will sometimes be called a “pantry.” My sister-in-law has one and it is very nice and convenient, but whether it is actually a pantry or not depends on how it is used and in her case, it is not used as a pantry. In some cases people create pantries out of other spaces in basements, closets, even under beds. It is how the space is used that determines if it is a pantry. So what is a pantry for?

Read the rest HERE

I'm a Bag Lady

I have gotten grief for this, but I LOVE using Freezer/Storage bags for organizing.

I know there are lots of people who use them for lots of things besides freezing food, but I just had to weigh in with a few of my favorites,
For cooking, it's the best "shake n bake bag".

I even freeze food in them. I can buy in bulk and break up the batches and freeze smaller amounts. We eat a LOT of pancakes in this family. There is always a batch in a bag in my fridge.

For items that I have opened that don't have a "resealable" package.

Chargers of all sorts and sizes. No tangles here!
A drawer full of cords and adapters. Keeps all the different cords for each electronic device separated. Have to be sure and label them!

Game pieces and toys...

This is a two gallon bag. A paint roller fits inside perfectly, and if you are doing an ongoing project, you can put the roller inside, seal out the air and the paint will stay fresh and wet for days. You don't have to change rollers at all.
Even better, the huge bags will hold the whole pan AND the roller!


There are lots more uses, but these are the things I keep the bags on hand for around here.
Feel free to comment with your own ideas!

It's Only a Matter of Time

Tip: Next time you have to do a job you hate around the house, like say, cleaning the fish bowl or the rat cage, time yourself to see how long it really takes.
Sometimes I put off jobs I dread, thinking that it is just a huge job and I don't want to get into it.
I have found that when I actually time myself, I realize that the job itself isn't really a big deal. It's no more pleasant, but when I think that it's only about a 20-30 minute period of unpleasantness, I tend to get to it and get it done, instead of procrastinating.
It really feels good to have it behind me and I don't dread it so much anymore!

A Couple of GREAT Links!

Here are a couple of great links that I got from Suzanne, my buddy in Louisiana.
The Menu planner is just great! It make so much sense!!

The Good Housekeeping page is a Spring Cleaning plan, with a job to do every day, and that is enough, but the rest of the site looks amazing. I want to go exploring there soon.


Hope this makes your spring more manageable and enjoyable!

Give Me a Washing Machine Any Day!

I just loved this, because I remember my Grandma telling me how much her life changed after she got her first washing machine. I remember having to go to a laundromat every time I wanted to do laundry and the wonderful freedom that I felt when I finally had a waher and dryer in the same house.

I actually really enjoy doing laundry, but I'll be I would like it so much if I had to do it the way these ladies do!
Thanks again, Barbara for some food for thought. So much good stuff from Mommy Life.

The Vatican is right about washing machines!

If a picture says a thousand words, here are 20,000 for you. After considering them, you might be ready to take the poll: Birth control or washing machine?

Let's see. Birth control pill led to free sex, promiscuity, the further objectification of women as sexual playthings, higher divorce rates, increasing fatherlessness and resulting poverty for single mothers.

Which has truly been more liberating for women?

Love,

Great Advice...from MommyLife

March 6, 2009

Should I homeschool?

My daughter is in public school in 2nd grade. She is not doing as well as I know she can and I have been considering homeschooling her. Currently, her teacher is recommending summer school with even the potential of being held back. I have considered pulling her out of school now and sort of starting 2nd grade over to have her catch up by the fall. Is it better to wait for the end of the school year and work from there or try to get started now? I didn't know if you had any advice?

While off the top of my head - and even with this limited amount of information - my answer would be yes, since this mom lived in driving distance, I suggested we get together to talk about her situation.

I'm sharing it now because as we enter spring, many people are facing similar issues with recommendations for ESY (Extended School Year, which is public school lingo for summer school - after all, why use the three- syllable name everyone understands when you can replace it with a bureaucratic label with two syllables more :)

Here is situation this mother faced:

She'd sent a child with no learning difficulties off to school and by second grade the teacher was sending home instructions for all the stuff she needed to do to help her daughter keep up with the class. Her daughter was in the lowest reading group - which no matter how they try to avoid labeling, the children always understand to be the lowest.

Mom had begun wondering why - if the teacher expected her to do all this work at home - she should even send her daughter to school. Why not just keep her home and do the work with her herself?

Why not, indeed?

As a mom who's had experience with homeschool and public school, I will tell you unequivocally: no matter how wonderful your local public school system (and I'm a big fan of Loudoun's) when it comes to academics, children in elementary grades will learn more and better at home.

There's simply no way around the facts. The elementary school curriculum can be easily done at home in three hours per day, and yet sending your child to public school takes them away from home for 7-9 hours.

Read the rest here

The New Frugal

We are all concerned with the financial situation in our country right now and with looking for ways to be more careful with the money that we do have.

I was listening to a radio show the other day. There was a woman on who has written a book to help families adjust to this new financial challenge by giving them tips on how to cook at home, instead of eating out on a regular basis.
She wasn't talking about actually learning how to cook though, she was just throwing out ideas as to items that can be purchased at the grocery store, similar to the meals you would eat out.
Prepared meals are still very expensive and not terribly healthy. There is nothing wrong with using boxed mixes as shortcuts when we are pressed for time or when there is something that we don't want to buy a bunch of special and expensive ingredients for.

I guess I hadn't thought about it. I have always thought that the first step to tightening the family budget is to look at what is being purchased at the grocery store and then to see what can be cut out, made from scratch or simplified. It doesn't seem like buying the same type of convenience food to cook at home is really going to cut costs, because you are still depending on someone else for ingredients, which is costly, and you aren't making more wholesome foods just because you are cooking them at home.

Cooking simple is easy, low cost, healthier and becomes a habit.
I am just talking about making a menu, shopping for foods that are basic, and learning how to build meals from a few ingredients, in a reasonable amount of time.

Menu planning takes a little practice and if you haven't been cooking at home as a rule, it takes a while to get into the habit of sitting down, figuring out your week's meals and then making a list of the things that you will need for each meal. It is a good idea to start slow, maybe planning for two days a week. Choose something that you know most of your family likes, and something that you enjoy making. Burgers and homemade fries and a simple fruit salad are usually a hit, or you could just do a chili and cornbread or biscuits.

Once you get the hang of the things you need to keep in the house for most of the meals that you will be making regularly, you can bulk shop and buy ahead so that you always have something to base your meals on. The great thing about meal planning is that you know at the beginning of the week what you need to buy and what needs to come out of the freezer a couple of days before.

Try to think of the meal with four basic components.
You need a main course, usually a meat, fish, casserole or soup. Then a starch of some kind like potatoes, rice or pasta. A vegetable and/or fruit. And then a salad and/or bread.

There are so many different tastes and cultures in our society, that the variety can be a lot of fun!
I try t0 vary the types of main courses throughout the week.
I do a couple of meats, a casserole, a "fun" meal, and leave open a night for leftovers.

I keep a few things on hand all the time to add to the main part of the meal.
Potatoes, rice, and several different types of pasta.
Frozen or canned vegetables in the winter and fresh in the summer.

As an example, take for instance, potatoes. Potatoes can be done so many different ways. My family prefers them baked in the skin; just plain old baked potatoes. Tim loves them shaken in olive oil and spices and baked in a shallow pan. Sometimes I put them in the crockpot with the meats that I am making and of course we have them mashed fairly often. There is so much you can do with a bag of potatoes and a little imagination.

Rice is another thing that is pretty much a staple in our house. I love white rice, but I often do a pilaf or add rice to other ingredients, like chicken or fish.
I learned how to make a great Jambalaya years ago from my friend Suzanne. It is just about complete as a meal.

We do Spagetti or another pasta meal once a week. These are favorites of the boys and they are also meals that go great with bread and a salad. Another mostly complete meal.

When I shop, I keep an eye open for sales on meats. If I find a great deal on ground beef, chicken or fish, I grab them and put a bunch in the freezer and then plan the menu around them the next week or two.

Another great benefit that we have gotten from cooking more simply, is that I can limit the sodium in our meals. Tim has high blood pressure and he limits his sodium intake, but prepared foods have so much that he can't avoid it if I cook out of boxes. I try to read labels on the prepared foods that I do buy, but if I make a chicken dish, baked potato, broccoli and a salad, he doesn't even have to think about it.

I'm still thinking about this topic, and so I'll add more later...

WD 40!

Wow! I had no idea that this stuff was so versatile. Official List of 2000+ Uses

From Gum, Sticker and Crayon Removal, to Cleaning Grease and Corrosion Protection!

• Removes crayon from carpet
• Removes coffee stains from floor tiles
  
• Removes marks from floors left by chair feet
  
• Removes adhesive price tags from shoe bottoms
• Cleans black streaks from hardwood floors
  
• Removes paint from tile flooring
  
• Removes rust stains from floors after mopping
  
• Removes mascara from tile floors and mirrors
  
• Removes felt pen marks from floors
  
• Removes rollerblade marks from kitchen floors
  
• Removes sticker residue from clothes
  
• Removes permanent ink from most items
• Removes grime from grout on bathroom floors
  
• Removes nail polish from hardwood floors
  
• Removes tile adhesive from new no-wax floors
  
• Removes crayon from inside clothes dryers
  
• Removes crayon from walls
• Lubricates screws on lawn furniture
• Removes crayon from wallpaper
• Removes crayon from compressed wood furniture
• Removes crayon from plastic
• Removes crayon from shoes
• Removes crayon from toys
• Removes crayon from chalk boards
• Keeps sewing needles from rusting
• Removes adhesive from precious china
• Helps prevent rust on hide-a-key containers
• Cleans and protects medicine door latches
• Cleans piano keys
• Removes crayon from television screen
• Lubricates zippers

Another product, that I have several cans of, is Spot Shot. It is an amazing stain remover. It gets old dried paint out of carpet like nothing else. I have to wonder what's in it...

From Mommy Life:

The Beauty of a Woman

The following was written by the late educator-humorist Sam Levinson for his grandchild and read by Audrey Hepburn on Christmas Eve, 1992. It was also used by Ms. Hepburn on occasion when she was asked for beauty tips. [From Audrey Hepburn by Barry Paris, 1996, Putnam]

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; never throw out anyone.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of each of your arms.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives the passion that she shows. The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years.

And the "Grace"?

As we make our homes and grow together as families, we have so much to accomplish within the given day.
There is the cleaning, the cooking, the schooling, the appointments, the classes, and then we find that the day is over and we are contemplating how to get through the next one.
Within the heart of our family, as we are committed to life and love together, is the aspiration to a life of Faith. We don't always look, feel, or sound the part, but the foundation of our family is Christ and His Church.
It is a daily journey and effort, to stretch, grow and polish off all the rough edges, and that is just my personal journey. I have to be a good example to my boys, and I have to be consistent.

Most important though, is that our ultimate goal is to get our children and ourselves to Heaven.
Also, to be closer to Christ on a daily basis just brings more joy to life all the way around. It is such a wonderful place to be!
In this quest for Grace, our family has developed our daily rhythm of prayer and family devotion over time.

I get up and do my prayers from the Magnificat magazine. It is the best aid to my prayer life that I have been able to find. I am able to do morning prayers and a Gospel reflection before anyone else gets up.

We try to start our school day with a short morning prayer, unless everyone grabs their work and gets going independently.

At noon my phone alarm goes off with "Ave Maria" and it is time for the Angelus. We had been doing that beautiful prayer off and on for a couple of years, but we would forget or be busy and not get to lunchtime until late and it would get left out. Now when the song starts, we all jump up and say it no matter what we are doing.

We also go to Mass on Friday mornings and we go to adoration when it is offered at our parish.
We ought to get to Mass more often, but if we go anywhere before school, it is really hard to get back on track. On Fridays, Mass is our Religion class.

Before bed we say a family Rosary. We have been adding a decade every year for Lent and now we are up to four. Next year we will be doing a full Rosary each night.

Add in our special feast days, when we celebrate our patron saints, and the feasts of special saints like St Nicolas, St Valentine, All saints, and All souls days, and we have a year of communion with our Church family.

Brendan has quite a devotion to St Anthony and whenever anything is lost, we all ask him to pray. It is amazing how St Anthony listens. Nina can attest to that!

It is a journey, and it isn't always easy, but I am hoping that as they get older, the boys will have habits ingrained that will help them stay close to Christ and the Church for life!

Great Recipe and a little Demo!

I thought this looked really good! I enjoyed the little demo.
Kind of fun to see the cook put it together and get a couple of tips.
Heck, with the laptop I have a portable cooking show!

Rosemary-Dijon Pork Chops and Oven Potatoes

Homeschool Tracker

I have to plug this awesome tool!

I have been using Homeschool Tracker to keep all of our school records for several years now.
It keeps track of assignments, time spent per subject, attendance, and provides many more options that I don't use.
It has a reading log, so that I can enter all the books the kids have read for school. It also has a field trip log, so that all the time that we spend on field trips is applied to the proper subject.

The basic version is good, and it's a free download online, but I bought the upgraded version at a VERY reasonable price. I am really glad I did. It provides downloads of upgrades for free and they are always working to make it better.

Every so often I print out the "assignments" pages and add them to a binder for each of the boys. I use this at the end of the year when I do my review. The reviewer can see all the subjects, time and completion at a glance.

Yummy Baked Ziti Recipe

This recipe is SO easy and SO good! Perfect if you are making a meal to take to a friend, potluck, or if you just have a lot to do and want to make something warm and wonderful.
This is NOT the Lo-Cal version however!

Baked Ziti

Prep Time:

10 min

Total Time:

50 min

Makes:

8 servings, 1-1/4 cups each

What You Need

1 pkg. (16 oz.) ziti pasta

1 jar (26 oz.) spaghetti sauce

1 container (15 oz.) POLLY-O Original Ricotta Cheese

1 pkg. (8 oz.) POLLY-O Shredded Mozzarella Cheese, divided

1/4 cup KRAFT Grated Parmesan Cheese

Make It

PREHEAT oven to 350°F. Cook pasta as directed on package. Drain pasta, reserving 1/2 cup of the pasta cooking water.

MIX spaghetti sauce, ricotta cheese and reserved 1/2 cup pasta cooking water in large bowl. Add pasta and 1/2 cup of the mozzarella cheese; mix lightly. Spoon into 13x9-inch baking dish sprayed with cooking spray; sprinkle with remaining mozzarella cheese and the Parmesan cheese. Cover.

BAKE 30 min.; uncover. Bake an additional 10 min. or until heated through.

Kraft Kitchens Tips

Special Extra

Prepare as directed, using your favorite flavor of spaghetti sauce, such as mushroom or garden vegetable.

Need Motivation?

If you love checklists...

This is the greatest resource I have found to help get the daily tasks done EVERY day and get the house under control a day at a time as well.

This is just a simple pdf file that you download at a VERY reasonable price. For the attention to detail that has gone into this, the author is making almost nothing!

It is a whole year's worth of daily checklists that you can print out a few at a time.
Check it out!

Motivated Moms

My Laundry System

A few words about our laundry system.
All of the clothing management takes place in the utility room. It's not fancy. It's where the furnace and the cat live, but I have managed to pull together a system that works well for the family.
I try to do laundry every day. While we are doing school I can wash, dry and fold because the laundry area is right off the school room.
I tried a modified "Family Closet" for the two younger boys a couple of months ago and it is working out really well!
No clothes on the floor of their rooms, (OK, we haven't solved the Lego problem, but one thing at a time...) the dirty clothes go straight to the laundry when they get undressed, and when they come down to change in the morning all the clean clothes are stacked neatly on the shelves and they don't have to plow through a bunch of things to find what they want.
I have a tub that has socks and underwear in it. They both wear the same size, but they still manage to find the ones that are theirs. I have done the same thing with the pajamas.
I don't think I am going to try to move John into this system. He is doing well at getting his pile upstairs, and he likes having the privacy.
Tim and I have plenty of clothes storage in our closet and wardrobe and a good laundry system, so we don't need to fix what's not broken.
I have a shelf and a bar for folding and hanging our things until I am ready to take them upstairs.
I have a bin on top of the dryer and the socks all go into it as I fold. I don't bother to pair them until there are a couple of loads worth. I also have a tub on the shelves (not pictured) for the towels and sheets. When it is full I take it up and put them away.
I keep a laundry basket right in front of the dryer and as I fold the warm clothes I can drop the things in that I don't worry about wrinkling and fold them last.
I don't fold or hang things an any other part of the house anymore. I take the folded clothes up to the bedroom and put them away at my convenience. I don't like to have baskets or piles of laundry around, waiting to be folded.
I'll post any tweaks that I make to this system. There is always room for improvement.

Weekly Menu Planning

I am starting to do a weekly menu planning session on Saturday mornings again.
I used to plan every week, and I don't know why I got away from it.
It helps so much to have each day planned and know what to thaw in the morning.
I know a lot of people plan and then shop, but lately, with the budget being what it is. I find that it is more sensible to shop the sales for meat, plan that part of the meal for each day from what I have, and then buy the things that I will need for the sides.
I don't need to plan for breakfast and lunch, because these meals are pretty much the same everyday.
I can do a big BJs shopping trip once a month, get the bulk items, and then do the milk/bread shopping as needed.
It does save a lot of money too.
I am cruising the internet and I have found that some of the websites that I like for organizing have some great menu planning ideas.
What's For Dinner?
The Organizing Junkie
Heavenly Homemakers
I am adding the menus to my google "menus" calendar.
This makes them accessible when I am out.
I have also started doing my shopping list on my Blackberry, because I always have it with me and I can delete items as I find them.
I am trying to cut back on waste and unnecessary purchases. If I can save enough money, I can get new countertops in the kitchen, and that will make fixing all those meals SO much more fun!

Blogs that Help...

I have found a few sites that can be very helpful on the Organizing Journey.
One caution: Organizing is more about changing your habits than changing your environment. It can be VERY expensive as well. Going out and purchasing, containers and tubs, closet organizers and systems, is useless if you haven't put the habits in place to use them properly. You will just have a bunch of new clutter in the form of plastic containers.

Before you try to implement any of the ideas that you see here, think about them. Use them in your mind as you declutter. Then only purchase the components of the system that will work in your environment. Put it together a little at a time.

That said, have fun looking around these places and use them to discover how much fun it can be to get organized!

The Organizing Junkie

Get Organized

I should be going to bed, but I had a few thoughts after work last night.
We moved SO much stuff out of the kitchen area in the M's basement. They are trying so hard to make the progress needed to start the work on the living area. They are giving up a lot of space that they are currently using to store things that they plan to keep. Every time I go and work with them, we just go through so much collected flotsam and jetsam from years of acquiring/storing. This cycle has to eventually catch up with people. If you don't purge and simplify occasionally, you are going to fill every empty space with as much stuff as you can pack into it.

The only way to avoid the trap of acquisition is to train yourself to think before you purchase anything, "Do I really need this? Where will I put it? Do I have one that works well enough and if I do, why am I getting another? Am I willing to give up something else to make room?"
When there are closets full of clothes that have been outdated or outgrown for 10 years, when there are hobbies and collections gathering dust because they are no longer interesting, when there are gifts that were received years ago, that well, just weren't the right thing...
When this stuff has been piling up for twenty years, it's not going to be easy to move it out! It's been gradually encroaching on your space over time, it's hardly noticeable while there are still closets with room left in them.

Why wait until you have filled your home up, literally to the rafters, with stuff you don't want/need? Why let possessions control you instead of the other way around?
Things are weighing us down and we just don't realize how cumbersome they are. We have to provide for them, we have to protect them, we have to insure them, we have to make space for them.
This seems to be a simple problem to solve, and yet I am working several hours a week trying to free people from the clutches of STUFF!
First, they want a professional to tell them how to arrange their space so that they can keep it all. Then when they realize that there is no possible way, short of moving into a bigger home, to store it all in an organized fashion, they begin to take the steps to letting go.

The Ms are very good at letting go. I think they are just totally surprised at all the things they have accumulated over the years. They just plug away at each room and they always send away a van load of donations. Their home is becoming more and more usable.
I am very satisfied at the progress they are making, I just feel bad that they got buried this deep.
I would like to be able to help young people start out right by choosing to keep it simple from the beginning.
Buy as little as you have to. Make the most of it when people ask you what you want for Christmas or birthdays. Yes, babies and children require equipment and supplies, but where ever possible, shop at thrift stores and sales. As soon as you are finished with an item, take it in for consignment and you will have the money you need to buy the next used item you need. Let kids share as much as possible! It's good for them!
Keep your personal items as simple as you can live with.
Make the most of the things you do choose to have around you. Use them! If you find you are not using something, or the kids have outgrown an interest, gift it! Someone else may love the treasure!
Don't hold on to things, hold on to people. Do THAT everyday.

Should I even try to get this back up and running?

I have pretty much abandoned this blog and it is a shame because I have a lot to contribute to it.
I have been organizing professionally for a year and a half now and I have learned as much from my clients as any of them could ever have learned from me.

I have learned never to judge a person based on their appearance or the appearance of their home. So many people try so hard to find a balance or to conquer mental health issues that make being organized almost impossible.
I can no longer look at someone and say that they should dress better or keep their house neater, or just be more self disciplined or parent better.
These are things that need to be fostered and grown. These are also areas where obstacles, such as mental illness or chronic organizational challenges can become walls that cannot be brought down with simple self discipline.

I have also learned to be patient. It is difficult to go back to someone after a couple of weeks and see that all of what we did and discussed has been undone, or is worse than it was when I started. It is very hard to look around a room that is obviously out of control, and have the client say that they really can't think of anything that needs doing. And yet, I love working with the people! I love the effort more than the results.

I am amazed at the way that people just keep going amidst chaos. I am amazed at the way families can keep going and stick together when there is such a total mismatch in the organizational needs among the members. It testifies to the love and patience that goes with living in a family. I can't imagine living under those circumstances myself, and I would like to help develop ways that the disorganized person can become more organized and solve some of the issues.

Parenting is another area that I have learned to be more generous about. I have very definite ideas about parenting and child behavior. I am pretty much set in my ways and I have always had a hard time with seeing parents pushed around and walked on by the little darlings. So I have to see these relationships in a different light, or I have a very hard time working with the family. Parents have their own views on what works with their kids and on their goals for behavior. While I may not agree with their methods, the professional capacity of my work keeps my from voicing my opinions. That is good for me because I have a bad habit of giving unwanted advice.

All this isn't to say that when I am asked, as of course I am, I don't try to give the best advice and provide the best systems possible for the families or individuals that call on us for help.
I just have to bend the methods to fit the people, not vice versa.

The classes that I have taught at the college have also provided me with so many great insights into what people need. To spend a couple of hours with a group of people, just going over proven methods and discussing their particular needs, has been very enjoyable and enlightening to me.
I find myself wanting to go home with them and show them exactly how to follow through with the ideas I have tried to get across.

I have also done some "virtual" organizing over the phone, and that has been so much more workable than I could have imagined. It doesn't seem possible to really help someone get something in order when you can't even see it yourself. But by asking the right questions, and guiding the conversation, it really does work!