Writing

Writing has become a more important part of my life these days.
I am finding myself going deeper into reading and spending a lot more time writing.
I have begun journaling in a couple of ways, and I had been doing 750words.com on that site.
I have deleted that account, but I am still committed to writing everyday, and making it public here on either this blog or "Jen's Pen".
There is a lot that happens when I write and I don't want to miss the benefits. They say that the best way to make things happen is to write them down. I am committed to being open to what God is asking me to do, and not jumping the gun. For the longest time I have been acting on what seems to be the promptings of the Holy Spirit, but as I put what I think He is saying into action, I get lost in my own ideas and motivations. I jump off from what I think He is saying and find myself in places that I don't think that He intended for me to go. I end up seeking things for the wrong reasons.
Anyway, writing has become a way to hear Him. It slows me down, gives me a place to put the thoughts that are in my heart, and keeps me more in the moment, reminding me to wait on Him.
Journaling in my prayer journal, writing down the thoughts that come across in the homily, or letting a story take shape in the light of Truth, are all ways that writing has helped to bring my thoughts into a deeper focus.
The 750 words approach was very helpful in getting me writing everyday, but the pressure to get it all out in a specific amount of time and without really letting my thoughts deepen, made it start to seem pretty pointless, not to mention that there is something very self-focused about writing in a private forum. For me, it was just too much dwelling on my own thoughts. Too much navel gazing. Having the things that I write out in a public forum, although I really don't know if anyone even knows this blog exists, so it's not really very "public", keeps me writing with a more responsible mental purpose.
What does all this mean?
I am waiting on that too.
What is the purpose in all of what has been happening in this life over the past few months?
I know that the world of my family and my home are key in where God is taking me.
I have been given such a gift, and to have some answers for what the meaning of Home and family really is in this world is a huge part of where I think I am going.
It is so exciting but it's "butterflies in your belly" exciting.
What does my home and family mean in the world?
Where does the profound teaching of Theology of the Body come into play in all of this?
What does God intend for the combination of experiences and this walk that He has put me on?
My life before, our journey, this life in a marriage as God intended, TOB and a new understanding of what that really means, the experience that I have in coaching and now health and fitness, and how that comes together with TOB.
It just fills me with anticipation and so much excitement, but I have to be patient and not go running away with my own ideas.
What might this all mean? Where might it be headed? I have no clue, maybe nowhere, but if He wants to pull it all together, I am all ears.
I will just keep working on my story. I can allow my thoughts to fly, and I can let that be a place where I pull it together, even if I never share it.
Writing my way to His plan. Writing the story of a life that begins to make sense as the Truth becomes clearer.
Maybe that's where I am going and I just have to let my fingers do the walking.
Sara will find her answers, even if I never find mine.

As Real As It Gets

So much to do and so much to think. What would life be like if there weren't so many random things pulling at us? Why do we say "yes" whenever we are asked whether we can do this or that?  Automatically, often without even thinking. The pause that we should take. The breath that we should take while we think about what we have on our plate....

This wasn't a problem when people lived back on the farm. There was no question about what people were going to do with their day. They didn't use an alarm. They got up when it got light, and they got outside to get the water, milk the cows, and feed the other animals. No question how you are going to spend your time when you have a barnful of livestock waiting to be taken care of. Breakfast would happen after everyone had already be at the day for a couple of hours. There was no email or Instagram to distract anyone. No one grabbed their phone to text while they were waiting for the water to fill the stock tank. They would look out across the fields and think, about life, about the way the farm was running, about the family. They had a story that they were creating day by day, they didn't need "This is Us" or "The Voice". 

The kids went outside to do the tasks that were appropriate for their ages. The little ones would do the weeding, carry in the laundry, and gather the eggs. It was a proud moment when a child was given a job that really needed doing. It meant that they were helping the family to work better. 

The older ones would help with the cooking, sewing, fencing, feeding the animals, and on and on it went as they grew up. By the time they were 14 or so, they had spent their time becoming capable. Not in ways that were potentially going to pay off "someday", but in real, solid, material things that would be part of the living of life. 

Moms didn't go to town to volunteer, they didn't go find "something to do" when the kids went off to school. They didn't take the kids from one "enriching" experience to another. They raised their children. 

No one was going to teach them. Mom taught them.

Taught them to read, what ever was available. Usually the Bible. Taught them around the cooking, the sewing, the planting, the feeding, and the many, many other things that were a part of the rythym of the days and the seasons. Teaching that was just part of the way the world worked, so it made sense. You have to learn to read and write. Who is going to figure out what needs to be ordered from the seed catalog? Who is going to find the best way to sell the things that had been growing all year? Who is going to find out what the lambs need to cure hoof rot? You have to learn to do the math that will keep you from being cheated, that will help you figure out how much seed corn to buy so that you can plant next year. All the lessons were things that could be immediately applied, not things that were waiting for "someday" when you might need them, like Algebra.

Dads didn't have mid-life crises, because a whole lot of them didn't live to mid-life, and if you did live to mid life your whole world was in the farm and in all of what you had built. You had a place to be and things that couldn't be left while you tried to figure out who you were. You were a farmer, for better or for worse, and you had better sit on that land and make it something that you could hand down to your sons. So there wasn't golf, or poker, or yoga, or pornography, at least for most of them. There was work. Exhausting, backbreaking, heart-breaking, satisfying work. Building, growing, clearing, plowing, helping God with the creating. That kind of work makes you get up early, keeps your mind engaged all day, and puts you to sleep when the sun goes down. That kind of work makes a family a part of each other and a part of the land. That kind of life is what makes people say that the land will always be a part of them. There is something elemental about saying "yes" to a life on the land. It isn't for everyone, but it is a "yes" to being as real as it gets.

It's Your Body, Give it Wings

Nobody likes a person who tells them that in order to feel good, in order to be the best version of themselves, they have to treat their body the right way.
Nobody wants to hear it, and nobody wants to do it. But then, if for some reason they have to do it, they often discover in that new physical reality a person that they are much happier being.

In the midst of self-destructive or self-neglectful lifestyles there will almost always be a time when for whatever reason, a doctor's visit, a health crisis, a comment from someone, there is a moment when we are shown what we are doing to ourselves. We look at ourselves with the eyes of another person, and we realize that our habits are taking us down a road that we do not want to be on.
A body full of aches and pains. Unable to sleep, unable to stay awake during the day.
A body that can't do what we want, can't take us where we want to go.
It refuses to go up the stairs without a fight. It gives us trouble when we want to enjoy a vacation, or be present to those we love, especially children.
It doesn't let us take care of the house or get out and work in the garden.
Left to our habits and our bad choices, we will eventually find ourselves in a prison of pain, inflexibility, exhaustion, and immobility.
Seriously. It is the way of the modern world. Go to Walmart and look at the number of scooter-carts.
But at some point there will be a moment when we are offered the choice to do something about it.
We will either want to, because we want our bodies to do more for us, or we will have to, because we get to the point that if we don't make some drastic changes we will do irreparable damage.
This may be the beginning of a whole new life.

There are facts that are undeniable.
Too many calories without enough energy expended turns fuel into fat.
The wrong kinds of calories turn into fat even faster.
The fuel that we put in creates the energy for the machine and some kinds of fuel are better than others. Try putting diesel in your sedan sometime. It's not meant to run on that.

We should value these miracles that are our bodies. We should treat them better than we would the most expensive and amazing car. We should look to them not as something that we have to drag through life, that we complain about, but a part of ourselves that allows us to express who we are.
Our bodies are given to us as part of the beautiful package that we are. We should give them what they need so that they can help us to be the best version of ourselves.
Look at your body. Feel your body. Use your body.
If it isn't what you want it to be, take a step in that direction. Just one.
Do it today, and then, try to do it again tomorrow. Make it a commitment for a week.
It can be as simple as drinking more water, or giving up soda.
Take a walk every day, even if it's just to the end of the block.
Cut out the things that you know aren't good for you. Add in something that is, bit by bit.
If it's hard to exercise, just do a stretching regimen. Love how it feels when you are done.
Just replace one thing with something else.

You are your body, all of it. Make peace with it, nurture it, and you can start using it to enjoy this beautiful world that God put here for you!