How many times in the last week have you said to yourself “If only I….”?
Think about it.
In our daily comings and goings, we have so much input from the world around us, and it can be unsettling when we think about the goals that we have set for ourselves, or possibly the goals that someone else has set, and the reality that we are living.
Do our expectations reflect the reality of our lives, or are we creating ideals that are unrealistic and that leave us feeling unfulfilled and unhappy?
For example, our homes should be places where we find comfort and peace, and yet for many people the home is a source of discontent. We read magazines, browse Pinterest, watch HGTV, and see these neat projects, beautiful makeovers, and lovely rooms. We want that too, for sure.
It’s a worthy goal to make our surroundings as comfortable and enjoyable as we can, but it becomes a problem when our ideals are not aligned with our reality, whether that reality is financial, spacial considerations, people, or time.
I love antique furniture, and I love the look of old wood polished to a golden glow, with warm accents around the room. I would love a room like that. Oh, and a fireplace. You really can’t have a warm cozy room decorated with antique furniture and not have a fireplace. Well, I don’t have the money to go out to antique stores and buy antique furniture in good condition. I really don’t have the confidence to buy a piece with “potential” and refinish it. And no, I don’t have a working fireplace. So instead I shop Craiglist, where I find pieces of furniture that speak to my taste, and can be had with my budget, but either need TLC or imagination to make them fit into my scheme. My ideal isn’t realistic, but with some work and mental adjustment, I have a home that I feel comfortable and content with, and we are able to keep the credit cards under control.
We don’t want to let our reality impede our aspirations. If the goals we set are worthy goals, then we should make a long-term plan to reach them. The key is to make steady progress, and recognize when you have achieved all you can, for now. Take a step back and see if the next part of the plan can be achieved with the time and resources that you have now, or if you need to take a break to gather them. Maybe you will find that you can be happy where you are, or maybe the ultimate goal needs to be reevaluated.
In her book, “Love the Home You Have”, author Melissa Michaels, tells of her quest for the perfect home for her family. She sought her “dream house” relentlessly in the early years of her marriage. She would find a house that she felt was perfect, as their family grew and changed, and she would dive in and make it everything that she could, working with what she had. She would be happy at first but then discontent would creep in and she would want to move again.
After years of searching for the perfect fit, she realized that it wasn’t the house around her that needed to be perfected, it was her vision of what home meant. She learned the art of contentment.
We all want and need home. That’s part of being human. We all want and need the things that are necessary for life, and some of the things that make it comfortable. The key is to recognize that home is as much a frame of mind as it is a physical place, and our homes can be everything we want them to be if we are willing to work hard and perhaps adjust our perspective.
