Simple Gifts

As the season of holiday giving approaches do you find yourself in a state of anxiety over the expectations of family, friends, or your own desires? If you are feeling an increasing shadow looming over the coming weeks, perhaps it is time to examine the reasons for the season again and figure out what is stealing your joy.

Over the years, it seems, this season has gotten more commercial, has begun earlier and earlier, and has taken on an ever growing complexity. You may feel that life is complex enough all year and that what you want out of the holidays is a break from the chaos and confusion, a time to focus on simple joys.

So how can we simplify the part of this season that causes anxiety, and enhance the part that brings us joy?

First, ask yourself what is really important to you, in regards to the holidays. Perhaps you can look back to your childhood and examine the memories that you cherish. What are those memories? Big family gatherings? Making cookies with Grandma? Walks in the chilly air with your siblings or cousins? Most likely you will find that people, and time spent with them, will be the centerpiece of your best memories. This can help you look for ways to give of yourself and of your time, giving to your loved ones times that will live on in their own best memories.

How do you see simplifying in respect to gift giving? Have you become enslaved to the mad rush to get “something” for everyone, to fill stockings, to have a mountain of wrapped gifts to show for your effort? Do you feel obligated to provide things for the people you love, even when you aren’t sure what they would like? Is there a pressure within your family to match gift giving regardless of individual needs, wants or financial situation?

These can be difficult questions to reflect on deeply, but in seeking the answers you may find that the joy that you have lost in trying to keep up with expectations may be found in learning to express the love that you feel for those you give to by finding a simple and sincere gift that comes from your heart.

Such a gift might be something that you know your loved one desires. Tickets to a play or concert, a home-made craft that your have put your heart into, a day out to visit a museum or antique shopping, lessons in dance or an instrument. The important thing is that you have thought deeply about what would please the person that you are giving to.

Giving of ourselves is what gift-giving should be about. A pile of items that will soon become clutter cannot compare to one gift, given from the heart, that will become a part of the fabric of life.

Celebrate Change!

Isn’t Fall a glorious season?

Whenever the seasons make an abrupt shift, don’t you feel a certain energy in the air and a sense of urgency to make something happen, to stop waiting and start acting?

The air is crisp and even the light has a different tone. In the turning of the year, from Fall to Winter, we know that the days will be shorter soon, and outside it will be cold.

There are seasons in life as well.

In the Springtime of life we build, we grow, and we watch the fruits of our labors bud and begin. Our lives are busy with nurturing, encouraging, providing and establishing.

In the Summer, we move into the season of maturing and polishing. The fruit finds it’s place, matures and comes into it’s own. We are there to help it fall gently and in the right place.

As this season turns, we find that we are left with many things that are necessary for growth and change, are not needed anymore. A lot like the leaves on the trees and the stalks in the cornfields.

There is still a lot of time left, and much to do, but this season is exciting in a different way. It is energizing because it’s a time of discovering those things that we had to put off in the years of providing. Now we can think about travel, volunteering our time, working for a cause or reading all the books that we didn’t have time for. We can go back to school, or teach someone what we ourselves have learned.

But what about all the stuff that was collected over the previous seasons?  What of the heavy attic and bursting basement? The papers, clothing, toys, books, unfinished crafts and unneeded supplies? Why is it still weighing us down? It’s probably just been a task that has been waiting for the push of a new season. We are still mowing a huge lawn, painting unused rooms, and maintaining a home and belongings that we realize we really don’t need anymore.

Some of us will decide to downsize completely; selling the home and many of the possessions that we don’t need, to move to a place with less to maintain. Some of us will remove much of what we have collected and re-purpose our space; wanting to stay where we are, but to use the place to a more appropriate purpose.

Some of us will get stuck. We will look around and realize that the season is changing, but we will be unable to embrace the opportunity because we are too tired, too overwhelmed, or impeded by conditions that have caught up with us. Illness, age, or changes in mental health can make the task of moving on almost unthinkable, so it gets put off.

If you feel stuck, for whatever reason, know that you are not alone. You don’t have to tackle this project on your own, and it’s doesn’t have to be done tomorrow. There are so many people and resources out there to help you get started and walk you through each step of the project.

You may have friends that know you well, and can help you with visualizing what needs to be done, and then help you do the actual work. You may have family nearby that would love to help and are excited about the next phase of your life. If you don’t feel comfortable asking friends or family to help, for whatever reason, there are other resources that you can turn to for help.