Writing

Writing has become a more important part of my life these days.
I am finding myself going deeper into reading and spending a lot more time writing.
I have begun journaling in a couple of ways, and I had been doing 750words.com on that site.
I have deleted that account, but I am still committed to writing everyday, and making it public here on either this blog or "Jen's Pen".
There is a lot that happens when I write and I don't want to miss the benefits. They say that the best way to make things happen is to write them down. I am committed to being open to what God is asking me to do, and not jumping the gun. For the longest time I have been acting on what seems to be the promptings of the Holy Spirit, but as I put what I think He is saying into action, I get lost in my own ideas and motivations. I jump off from what I think He is saying and find myself in places that I don't think that He intended for me to go. I end up seeking things for the wrong reasons.
Anyway, writing has become a way to hear Him. It slows me down, gives me a place to put the thoughts that are in my heart, and keeps me more in the moment, reminding me to wait on Him.
Journaling in my prayer journal, writing down the thoughts that come across in the homily, or letting a story take shape in the light of Truth, are all ways that writing has helped to bring my thoughts into a deeper focus.
The 750 words approach was very helpful in getting me writing everyday, but the pressure to get it all out in a specific amount of time and without really letting my thoughts deepen, made it start to seem pretty pointless, not to mention that there is something very self-focused about writing in a private forum. For me, it was just too much dwelling on my own thoughts. Too much navel gazing. Having the things that I write out in a public forum, although I really don't know if anyone even knows this blog exists, so it's not really very "public", keeps me writing with a more responsible mental purpose.
What does all this mean?
I am waiting on that too.
What is the purpose in all of what has been happening in this life over the past few months?
I know that the world of my family and my home are key in where God is taking me.
I have been given such a gift, and to have some answers for what the meaning of Home and family really is in this world is a huge part of where I think I am going.
It is so exciting but it's "butterflies in your belly" exciting.
What does my home and family mean in the world?
Where does the profound teaching of Theology of the Body come into play in all of this?
What does God intend for the combination of experiences and this walk that He has put me on?
My life before, our journey, this life in a marriage as God intended, TOB and a new understanding of what that really means, the experience that I have in coaching and now health and fitness, and how that comes together with TOB.
It just fills me with anticipation and so much excitement, but I have to be patient and not go running away with my own ideas.
What might this all mean? Where might it be headed? I have no clue, maybe nowhere, but if He wants to pull it all together, I am all ears.
I will just keep working on my story. I can allow my thoughts to fly, and I can let that be a place where I pull it together, even if I never share it.
Writing my way to His plan. Writing the story of a life that begins to make sense as the Truth becomes clearer.
Maybe that's where I am going and I just have to let my fingers do the walking.
Sara will find her answers, even if I never find mine.